The Photo a Day theme today was funny. Within my family I’m not necessarily known for being funny and I’m happy with that, and my husband well, ‘Dad you are not funny now, you never have been funny and you are never going to be funny!’ in the words of my son B2 who luckily seems to have got all the funny genes. He has a great sense of humour, is very witty and has always surprised me with the things he says. His early morning breakfast radio career has me wide awake at 6am each Wednesday morning, quite a sight sitting in the dark with headphones plugged into my iPad just so I can listen to that sense of humour without disturbing my husband.
So today I scrounged around for a funny image to capture. I didn’t have any cute puppy dogs or toddlers to help out. Often I find the best idea for the day’s theme just comes to fruition as the day rolls by. I like it that way rather than having to stage a photo, which sometimes takes a lot of brainpower, time and energy to get just right.
Anyway as I was getting dressed today in the sudden snap of cold weather, I was surprised to discover that a pair of my favourite ‘comfy’ trousers were way too big for me. Now it shouldn’t have been a surprise really given over the past 16 months I have lost somewhere over 30 kilograms. I am unsure of the exact number because although I have always been a ‘larger lady’ as my oncologist kindly referred to me on my recent visit I never focused on the number. So my weight loss could be anywhere between 35 and 40 kilograms. It doesn’t really matter.
The weight loss has been gradual, very slow and steady just as weight loss experts suggest about half a kilogram a week. It took a while to realise I was losing weight or that my clothes were too big. Looking back at photos of before cancer and after I can see such a difference now. I queried my medical team was there something they knew that I didn’t know. No, that wasn’t the case and it was not a great concern for them. All was good! So my theory to this dramatic weight loss total is that I have been taking tamoxifen, a daily hormone tablet, which supports my hormone receptor positive type of breast cancer. I haven’t had much of an appetite for what seems like ages now and this added to the nausea I suffered influenced what I was eating or rather what I wasn’t eating therefore my weight loss. My medication was changed mid November and it took a while for me to register but I no longer struggle with poor appetite and don’t feel the slightest bit nauseous like I had in the past. I am often found at an open fridge door at 2am in the morning searching for something else to eat. Standing on the scales each month at the hospital I look forward to the day the scales stopped going down, very different to any time I was on the scales at Weight Watchers where I hoped and prayed for weight loss. It has been three months now and I have remained the same weight and am more than happy with that.
Funny means different things for different people. I always find it funny when someone, say my husband gets accidently hurt, you know when they hit their head or jam their finger in the door that slap stick type of comedy you see on Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry cartoons.
I don’t know where it came from but I thought it might be funny to have a photo wearing my comfy pants, you know the photo where the person is standing fully in one leg of a pair of trousers to show their weight loss.
Well I suppose I always thought it would be such an achievement to do that. I have achieved much this past 16 months just not sure that significant weight loss is something I would have high up on my list. Weight loss as a by product of having cancer doesn’t bring the same sense of achievement as having lost weight after months of hard work with Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or home delivered meals with Lite ‘n’ Easy or those 29 minute sessions at one of those all female only gym workouts. Cancer and funny don’t seem to go together for many people so I hope I haven’t upset anyone with my photo.
I posted my photo for Photo a Day without thinking what it might look like for others apart from me just being funny, that is a lady with two legs standing inside one leg of a pair of her comfy trousers. I thank the 85 lovely members of the group who stopped and took the time to like my photo or leave a comment to acknowledge the weight loss without knowing my story. That is the story of a lady with cancer whose life is so different now, at least 35 kilograms different. Unbeknown to them, they just saw the results of the hard work of weight loss, not the hard work that goes with radiation, chemotherapy and that hormone therapy which is what I really think is responsible for my weight loss. I didn’t have to go to the gym or worry about how each lettuce leaf was going to keep me satisfied till the next meal. I posted the same photo on my personal Facebook page and got a completely different response because they know my recent health situation. It must be hard for people who know me and have watched what I have been through to know whether they should acknowledge my weight loss as a good thing. I am pretty sure if I had been on a diet or had my stomach stapled and didn’t have cancer they would have congratulated me. Don’t get me wrong I’m not upset or feeling like I have missed out on something here. I love how one friend has commented a few times now on my skinny legs and I have taken that as a compliment. The same friend also asked about my bra size, which I very proudly said I was now a 14DD. (Yes I am writing that in public!) She is observant and not scared to say what she thinks. I love her honesty.